陳燿陽在聲明中表示，前妻所指的「濕底褲」說法完全脫離事實脈絡，並特別指出兩人的兒子屬特殊教育需要SEN兒童。他直斥前妻為了博取輿論關注，公開涉及患有SEN兒子的個人生理細節與生活隱私，行為極不恰當，甚至對兒子的心理與成長造成傷害，嚴厲譴責前妻的做法「嚴重侵犯兒童私隱」。
女兒Ava打破沉默 透過《香港01》獨家發聲明力撐母親
陳燿陽與李明慧的女兒Ava今日透過《香港01》公開發表獨家個人聲明，對父親陳燿陽之前的聲明內容提出反駁。Ava 在聲明開首表明，自己絕非無關痛癢的「旁觀者」，而是從小在那個家中長大的親歷者。她直言對於父親於9月24日發表的公開聲明感到極度不安，因為當中的描述根本無法反映她真實經歷過的家庭生活，又指哥哥患有嚴重自閉症，保障他的安全是她與母親最重要的事情，強調她們「不會停止為那些無法為自己發聲的人發聲」。她亦痛心透露，隨着自己長大，親眼目睹父親的憤怒情緒逐步升溫，甚至影響到家庭成員、醫療及教育專業人士。面對父親不斷攻擊母親，Ava 直接向陳燿陽公開喊話：「請停止！不要再攻擊母親」。
Ava聲明如下：
On 24 September, my father issued a public statement to the Hong Kong media about our family. I was deeply disturbed by a number of the claims and characterizations he made because they do not reflect the family life that I personally experienced.
I was initially hesitant to make a public statement. I did not want to add heat to what some may dismiss as a private family dispute, or reduce something deeply painful to “he said, she said” drama. But I believe this is larger than a disagreement between two people. It reflects broader systemic issues in the way women’s experiences of abuse are questioned,minimized, or turned against them. I understand that my words carry weight, and I feel a responsibility to speak, not only for myself and my mother, but for those who cannot safely speak for themselves.
I am not speaking as an outsider. I am his daughter. I grew up in that home. I witnessed what happened behind closed doors.
I have memories with my father that I cherish, and that makes what I am saying even more painful. But as I grew older, I also witnessed his anger increasingly affect our household, his own family, and schools and medical professionals. My mother, my brother, and I endured a fragile home. A place of safety, only to be undermined. A place where we walked on eggshells, plagued by hours of verbal and psychological abuse. Words that cut deep: wishing not for my success but my failure, threats to "cut me into little pieces" in front of my friends, that I was neither loved nor cared for. More than just words, they were cuts on not just my safety but my worth, leaving scars that only time can heal. I saw the emotional consequences that these behaviours had on my mother and on our family.
Over the years, my mother has done everything she possibly can to protect my father's image by remaining silent and keeping us safe by not disclosing the truth of his behaviors,addictions and actions. That silence was never an admission of fault, nor an invitation for responsibility for the breakdown of our family to be publicly placed upon her. I will not remain silent while that happens. My father has accused my mother of wrongdoing and has now taken those accusations into the public arena. I am asking him directly: please stop.
Stop blaming my mother for speaking about what she experienced. Stop portraying our family’s pain as though it arose without cause. Stop attacking the credibility of the woman who lived through these events with you.
This is bigger than my parents’ divorce.
I will not deny that men can suffer abuse, false accusations, and real harm at the hands of their partners, and their experiences deserve to be taken seriously. But that reality should not be invoked where it is irrelevant, used to divert attention from the truth of the matter or to discredit a victim’s account of their own experience. It is deeply troubling when the language of victimhood is used to reverse the roles of those who have been harmed and those accused of causing harm; when it is used not to protect the vulnerable, but to cast doubt on women who speak. It turns pain into a weapon and silence into the price of being believed.Women should not be forced into silence because their truth may unsettle someone else's reputation. Truth is not cruelty simply because it disrupts the version of events another person needs the world to believe.
When the criminal-justice system perpetuates the lamenting truth that a woman may speak of abuse and still not be heard in a way that brings justice; when the legal system fails to enforce accountability, leaving her vulnerable to financial abuse through the very process meant to protect them; and when social-welfare services fail to provide protection that is meaningful, timely, and real, where else is she meant to turn? When every system designed to listen becomes another place where a person is left unheard, public testimony is not a choice made lightly, nor is it a performance for attention. It is what remains when private suffering has exhausted every private avenue for protection, accountability, and truth.
My mother does not lose her right to speak because she is going through a divorce. And I do not lose my right to speak because I am their daughter.
A normal father’s love for his children should extend beyond words or appearances. It should mean placing his children and their needs first; being forgiving rather than vengeful; and choosing humility and accountability over pride. It should not require silence, loyalty, or compliance in exchange for care. Nor should it turn every interaction into another attempt to be right, rather than an opportunity to bring peace to the people most affected.It has been nearly two years, and I have still not been allowed back into the matrimonial home to retrieve my belongings, things that may appear ordinary, but carry the memories of a life I once thought I would be allowed to return to. They are remnants of my room, my childhood, and a home that has since become inaccessible to me.
If the protection of my brother and me were truly the priority, there would be no defence of the idea that Jordan’s personal boundaries should be crossed or disregarded. There is a profound difference between protecting one’s children and protecting one’s pride: one asks what the child needs to heal; the other asks what must be preserved at any cost.
I know what I witnessed. I know what I experienced. I know what it felt like to live inside our family. And asking a woman to remain silent about what happened to her does not make what happened disappear.
The safety and protection of my brother who is profoundly autistic is a priority for my mother and I. We won’t stop advocating for those without a voice
9月24日，我的父親就我們家庭的事情向香港傳媒發表了一份公開聲明。對於他在聲明中提出的若干說法以及對事情的描述，我感到非常不安，因為這些說法並不反映我親身經歷過的家庭生活。
起初，我對於是否公開發聲十分猶豫。我不希望令一場可能被某些人視為「家庭私事」的爭議進一步升溫，更不希望把一些如此深刻而痛苦的經歷，簡化成一場「各執一詞」的鬧劇。但我相信，這件事所涉及的，遠遠不只是兩個人之間的爭執。它反映的是一個更廣泛、更具制度性的問題：當女性訴說自己受到傷害的經歷時，她們的說法如何被質疑、淡化，甚至反過來成為攻擊她們的工具。我明白自己所說的每一句話都有分量。因此，我認為自己有責任站出來發聲，不只是為了我自己和我的母親，也是為了那些無法安全地為自己發聲的人。
我並不是一個旁觀者。我是他的女兒。我在那個家中長大。我親眼見證了關起門後所發生的事情。我與父親之間也有一些我珍惜的回憶，而正因如此，我今天所說的這些話才更加痛苦。但隨着我逐漸長大，我亦親眼看到他的憤怒如何越來越影響我們的家庭、他自己的家人，以及學校和醫療專業人士。我的母親、哥哥和我，一直生活在一個脆弱不安的家庭環境之中。一個原本應該讓人感到安全的地方，安全感卻一次又一次被破壞。我們在家中如履薄冰，長時間承受言語及心理上的傷害。有些說話，傷得很深。他不是希望我成功，而是希望我失敗；他曾經在我的朋友面前威脅要把我「斬成一小塊一小塊」；亦曾讓我感受到自己既不被愛，也不被關心。這些並不只是說話。它們傷害的不只是我的安全感，也傷害了我的自我價值，留下的傷痕，只能交由時間慢慢療癒。我亦親眼看見這些行為對我的母親以及整個家庭所造成的情緒傷害。
這些年來，我的母親一直選擇沉默，盡她所能保護我父親的形象，同時亦為了保護我們，沒有公開他行為、成癮問題及所作所為的真相。但她的沉默從來不代表她承認自己有錯，更不代表任何人可以把我們家庭破裂的責任公開推到她身上。當這樣的事情正在發生時，我不會再保持沉默。我的父親一直指責我的母親做錯了事，而如今，他更把這些指控帶到公眾面前。所以，我想直接對他說，請停止。
請不要再因為我的母親說出自己的親身經歷而責怪她。請不要把我們家庭所承受的痛苦，描述成彷彿一切都是無緣無故發生的。請不要再攻擊一個與你共同經歷這一切的女人的可信性。
這件事，比我父母的離婚更重要。
我不會否認，男性同樣可能遭受虐待、虛假指控，以及來自伴侶的真正傷害，而他們的經歷亦應該得到認真對待。但這個事實不應在與事件無關的情況下被利用，更不應被用來轉移大家對事情真相的注意，或者用來否定一名受害者對自己親身經歷的陳述。當「受害者」的語言被用來顛倒受到傷害的人與被指造成傷害的人之間的角色，這是令人深感不安的。尤其當這種語言不是用來保護弱勢的人，而是用來質疑那些選擇站出來發聲的女性。這樣做，是把痛苦變成武器，把沉默變成一個人要獲得相信所必須付出的代價。女性不應該因為她所說的真相可能動搖另一個人的聲譽，就被迫保持沉默。真相不會僅僅因為它打破了另一個人希望全世界相信的版本，就變成殘忍。
當刑事司法制度一次又一次印證一個令人痛心的現實：一名女性即使站出來訴說自己遭受傷害的經歷，仍然可能無法以真正帶來公義的方式被聽見；
當法律制度未能真正追究責任，反而令她在本應保護她的程序當中，繼續面對經濟上的傷害；當社會福利制度亦未能提供真正、及時而有效的保障；那麼，她還可以向誰求助？當每一個原本應該聆聽她的制度，最終都變成另一個讓她的聲音無法被聽見的地方，那麼公開說出自己的經歷，並不是一個輕率的選擇，更不是為了博取關注而作出的表演。當一個人在私下已經用盡所有尋求保護、追究責任和尋找真相的途徑後，公開發聲，可能就是她最後剩下的選擇。
我的母親不會因為正在經歷離婚，就失去發聲的權利。而我亦不會因為我是他們的女兒，就失去發聲的權利。
一個正常的父親對子女的愛，不應該只停留在說話或表面形象上。真正的愛，應該是把子女以及他們的需要放在第一位；應該選擇寬恕，而不是報復；應該選擇謙卑和承擔責任，而不是驕傲。父愛不應該要求子女以沉默、忠誠或服從，作為換取關愛的條件。每一次的相處，也不應該變成另一場證明自己才是對的爭論，而應該成為一個機會，為那些受到最大影響的人帶來平靜。接近兩年了，我至今仍然不被允許返回我們昔日成長住所取回自己的物品。這些東西在別人眼中可能只是一些普通的物件，但對我而言，它們承載着一段我曾經以為自己還能回去的生活和回憶。它們是我房間留下來的痕跡，是我童年的一部分，也是那個如今我已經無法再進入的家的遺留。
如果保護我和哥哥真的才是最重要的事情，那麼就不應該有人為侵犯或漠視 Jordan 個人身體界線的做法作出辯護。保護自己的孩子，與保護自己的自尊和面子，兩者之間有着根本的分別。前者問的是：「我的孩子需要甚麼，才能療癒？」後者問的卻是：「無論付出甚麼代價，我必須保住甚麼？」
我知道我親眼看見了甚麼。我知道我親身經歷了甚麼。我知道生活在我們這個家庭裏，是一種怎樣的感受。要求一個女人對自己曾經遭遇的事情保持沉默，並不會令那些事情從未發生過。
我哥哥患有嚴重自閉症。保障他的安全和受到適當的保護，是我和母親最重要的事情之一。我們不會停止為那些無法為自己發聲的人發聲。
本文作轉載及備份之用 來源 source: http://www.hk01.com
|
鍾意就快D Share啦！
|
|
|